Less than one month and counting.

September 30, 2008 § Leave a comment

 

If a balanced life is all about reevaluating and readjusting, then I guess I’m doing all right.  

I’ve cancelled my piano recital.  It wasn’t going to work.  And that’s okay.  I rediscovered that I do enjoy practicing.  I went out and bought a piano for myself.  I know that this is something that I will keep coming back to, so there’s no loss there.  I’d rather not have it be set on the back burner, overbubbling and burning round the edges.

I started going a little nuts during the past couple of weeks.  Four classes and two jobs and marathon training and recital prep all going on concurrently is a little much for me for now.  That’s the kind of thing that you really start to realize as you try to actually do something nice for yourself and find that it won’t fit in with it all.  For a while, I was so worried about being lost and purposeless, so I piled up the endeavors, so at least I could feel like I was doing something useful.  I won’t pretend that I’ve outgrown that sort of feeling, but for now I kind of want something slightly different.  I know I still have lots of things I need to do in order to get a good career started for myself, which is really important to me, but it’s started to feel a little too much like drudgery, when the whole point of doing this was so that I could feel like I was living more.  Classes are just a means, not an end.  Tonight I am going to go to sleep before 8 o’ clock, and on Thursday I am going to watch the VP debate at a very cool warehouse.

I am a strange girl with strange thought processes, but to some people I guess I am all right.

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