November 30, 2008 § Leave a comment
That’s how I feel right now. I happened to get the night off from work, and instead of being productive, I have been sitting in bed with my PJs on and with a cup of tea and my laptop close at hand. I feel so peaceful—sleepy, but peaceful.
The inner debate between taking 3 classes or 4 classes next semester still rages on, but at the moment I am once again settling on 3. There are so many fun ambitions I have lined up for myself, like doing one last recital (I haven’t forgotten about that yet), running NYC again and hopefully qualifying for Boston (if I can shave 40 minutes off my time with a respectable amount of training), and maybe San Francisco while I’m here and enjoying it… as well as ploughing through this awesome vegetarian cookbook that I ordered off of Amazon. Deborah Madison, Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone. Someday I will be a full-fledged vegetarian and I won’t miss meat at all. That’s the goal.
My current excuse for not diving into all of these things right away is this minor cold that I’ve caught for the holiday weekend, as well as the crunch of semester-end assignments that need dealing with. Then I’ll probably let myself be as lazy as I dare for a whole three days before I make myself start being responsible again. Yes, I think that is a good plan.
My boyfriend will be traveling in West Africa until the very end of January, starting tomorrow. It’s reason for a slight little bit of pouty-ness on my part because two months is a long time, but I’ll use it as an opportunity for good-quality personal time. Time to unwind quietly from the pressures of Fall semester, just as I’ll be resurrecting my running routine from NYC earlier this month.
November 22, 2008 § Leave a comment
The marathon went well. No, that’s an understatement. The marathon was a lot of fun, I loved running in New York, I loved running with all the people cheering on the streets and the little kids reaching out their hands to see if we would high five them as we all ran past, and I ran an hour faster than I expected,rain despite the fact that I was going on 2 hours of sleep and “training” that basically relied on my on-and-off year-long base-building of up to 16 miles… and my youth. Not that I didn’t get off scott free—I assure you that the entirety (I repeat, entirety) of both my legs hurt more than I had ever experienced before for a good 5+ hours after I finished.
Nevertheless, I would smugly like to add that I flew back that night, arriving home in SF by midnight and being up and ready to go at work by 11am the next morning. O youth, thou art a beautiful boon.
So, then, what has Katrina been up to since then? Eating too much, running not very much, and losing sleep over schoolwork. Yes, the semester is winding down, and that is the traditional time for me to start sending healthy tendencies to the very bottom rung of the priority list. I feel stressed out because of classes and work, and yet I still have this itching desire to sign up for 4 classes for next semester, sign up for Hapkido, train for more marathons and other races, re-schedule that recital, read read read, take on a slew of design projects, become fluently adept at vegetarian cuisine, save the whales, etc. No, Katrina. You are not being reasonable.
I always want to do too much. Or, I always feel like I am not doing enough. I see this in me, but it’s so hard to stop myself from succumbing each time. I think about how other people struggle, bust their butts to achieve their goals, and I feel guilty when I wonder if I’m not working quite as hard as them, and end up focusing on the struggling instead of the goal-achieving aspect of it all. I can explain this all very clearly right here, yet it doesn’t usually sink in when it comes time to deciding what I’m going to put on my plate. I don’t want to take a break because I feel like I’m running out of time. I am also bad at doing things in moderation.