Looking back.

December 29, 2009 § Leave a comment

Five years ago, I was in the middle of my sophomore year at Davis, living in my first apartment, thinking I wanted to transfer to some fancy music school.

Two years ago, I was ecstatic to be back home from Cambridge and thinking of quitting my masters program at my fancy music school. Wasn’t sure what else I was going to do, though—I was without direction, employment, or my own place.

One year ago, I had just finished my first real semester of graphic design, feeling sufficiently satisfied and humbled at the same time, and with my first marathon under my belt. I was looking forward to the next semester of classes, and really looking forward to the arrival of February.

Six months ago, I was in Providence starting my summer classes at RISD, feeling awed by my surroundings and excited to actually be there, equipped with a brand-new digital camera and funded completely by my own savings, visiting the MOMA in New York and the International Poster Gallery in Boston on free weekends.

Now here I am. My mind in a whirl trying to apply for a part-time design job and a fancy design school and save up several tens of thousands of dollars for said fancy design school. Longing to be in New York eight months from now to mark the one-year anniversary of my pledge of resilience and self-sufficiency, by which time I’ll have run a second marathon with a nice fat PR.

I’m hoping that, when I make it there, it’ll be as good as I’m hyping it up to be. New Year, I’m trusting you with a lot of my aspirations, but I’ll be sure to do my part, too. (And waste less paper—definite priority!) Resilience, optimism, and dedication.



December 25, 2009 § Leave a comment

Oh, Christmas. If you didn’t come right after finals, what else would there be to make me procrastinate and pull long, unwilling all-niters? Screw it. One post and I’m going to bed. I just wanted to relax for a while. The holidays are not relaxing.

Just two things to mention.

First, I have a part-time graphic design job opportunity to apply for that I actually qualify for (i.e. it doesn’t require 3 years of job experience and I don’t need to know how to manage websites). It’s exciting so I’m going to go for it, but it would also contribute to another miserable semester directly following these 4 weeks of break that, thus far, have not been very relaxing.

Second. I saw this online news article today about an interview with a certain person. I’m not sure what I have to say about this. X motivates me and inspires me still. X drives me forward in little ways. I miss X, and while I’ve resigned myself to the circumstances and it’s not a big deal, I miss some things just a little, every now and then. I promised myself I wouldn’t turn back, but I’m glad I haven’t forgotten even these bits, because in a romanticized, twisted way, this feels like how it should be.

17 more days, trying to retain my sanity.

December 1, 2009 § Leave a comment

I’ve been zombie-tired all day and tried to go to bed a couple hours ago at 5pm (yeah, I know), but I’m still up. I was really stressed earlier because I have a lot to do, and my energy and concentration have been waning! I have:
  • My storybook, of course—I need to add more graphics (no!), get all the digital files cleaned up and ready to print by Thursday so that I can start sewing it together so that it’s an actual bound book by next Tuesday.
  • My poster for Illustrator class… I’m about 4 weeks behind on that assignment.
  • A coupon I promised I’d make for a co-worker that needs to be ready by Saturday.
  • About 4 different assignments for typography.
  • My Photoshop assignment.
  • Christmas party invites for my family that need to be sent out ASAP.

I was thinking, though, that maybe I’ll drop a class for next semester and just take two. Maybe I could use the extra time to get better at illustration and photography, and to finish up all those odds and ends projects that I’ve promised to people since last year but never got around to. Take some time off from this storybook (after I turn it in of course) and revisit it after a bit of time so I can make it better and redo all the bits whose corners I’ve cut because of deadlines. Go out and do things in the city and take advantage of all the events and museums and let them be more of a part of my education, because if all I do is schoolwork all the time I might as well live in Idaho, right? I’d still only have to take two classes in the Fall, I could build up my portfolio with all of my personal projects and try to get better at self-motivation and at setting deadlines for myself. (And run more.)

Mkay, well there’s my semesterly epiphanic rant, I’ll settle down now! It made me start to feel better about things, anyway. This weekend will probably still be ridiculous and busy, but I should be able to at least breathe a bit. Just can’t give up, gotta keep forging through the next two and a half weeks without killing myself or gaining weight from stress-eating. Boo to stress-eating.

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