Not ready.

March 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

It’s Friday night, and I’m postponing my shower after a good run. Apparently stuffing myself with junk food for at least 48 hours may sometimes actually make me run faster—unless I’m learning the wrong lesson from all of this? Go figure. (Eight miles at 7:46 pace… say whaaat?) But I’ve been giving into emotional eating, and that’s never a good feeling.

Life after school is a little difficult for me to adjust to emotionally, and it’s something I never realized til now. Being in school gives you structure. You have short-term goals, concrete things that you are working for. After that, what else is certain in life? Retiring in your sixties, and getting old? Yes, there’s a whole lot of life in between that and now, but where’s the structure to help me to get a good grasp and perspective on all of it?

I also never quite realized how strongly a close friend’s big life change could affect my own. Comparisons are drawn, and now here I am. It’s an adventure, or at least it should be. All I want to do is curl up in my room with a small tub of gelato. Oh wait, I just did that, and now the gelato is gone. Oops.

Self-pity, self schmitty. I’ll be over it as soon as I get used to the whole thing a little more. But I think I’m allowed to be a little sad. Better to vent here than on Facebook, anyhow.

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