Random Jibberish

April 28, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m kind of brain dead. It’s been a long day / long week / long month. So, just a list of thinking points bouncing around in my head.

  • I think it’s time to throw away a bunch of my shit. A cleanse, if you will.
  • My plan to get lots of sleep tonight has, like always, been self-thwarted.
  • Hating myself takes up a ridiculous amount of time and energy. However, old habits die hard.
  • There are two things in life that I would like to achieve that are actually still under my control: running prowess and creative achievement. Dilly-dallying will only decrease the chances of these coming into fruition. (Note to self: Stop fucking around.)
  • The two things in life that are causing me the most distress at this very moment are the fact that my hair is in desperate need of a trim, and my room is cluttered as all hell. The good news is that these two things can easily be remedied by end of day tomorrow.
  • Has Death Cab ever written a single sub-par song? I’m not sure that they have.
  • Most stress that I have is self-induced. Hmmm.
  • My ideal self is a much more energetic person, among other things. But tackle first the things that you have a reasonable chance of success in achieving, right? Right.
  • Tonight, unlike the 2 or 3 nights that came before this one, I will actually fit the sheets onto my bed before sleeping in it. Wow, has it really come to this?

Ciao, folks.

OK I promise

April 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

Starting tomorrow, for real, I am going to eat healthy. And just for the record, tomorrow is Day 28 of 1000.

O sleepless night. O memory lane.

April 1, 2012 § Leave a comment

Dear pre-dawn New York,

It’s that curious hour when it almost doesn’t quite matter anymore whether I try to go to sleep again or just hit the coffee and start my day. It’s been a lovely night of relaxation and quality personal time, though. Some successful runs of online sudoku, a few chapters of Bossypants, catching up on my Daily Show and Colbert Report, and discovering some delightful punny and instructional ditties about solfege and modes and chord progressions from a beloved voice teacher I knew at Davis. Oh, life is beautiful. And hello, April!

This certainly brings back memories from when I was seven years younger. Oh, those Yolo County days. I can smell the warmth and pollen scent of the spring air, and the hallways of that music building are clear in my mind, as are the half-finished furnishings of my old Sundance apartment. (I really wish I could say that my interior decorating situation has drastically improved over the past almost-decade.) I certainly had a more definite life plan back then, albeit one that changed dramatically and often.

What words of advice or encouragement would I offer to the nineteen-year-old version of myself if I could? Maybe, don’t worry, you will make it to New York in due time, just not in the way that you think. Also, many of your closest friends today will still be your closest friends when you are twenty-six; You will get better and better at running; Your heart will continually break but it will also continually heal, and you will gain so many fun and meaningful experiences and learn so much about both yourself and other people because of it; Be more patient with your grandmother while she is still here; and maybe there’s nothing that you will do today that you will regret in seven years so just relax and enjoy yourself more (but never drive sleepy, and  it’s still probably a good idea never to hitch a ride in any strange vans ever. Ahem.). 

It might be easier to give good advice to other people than to yourself.

Where Am I?

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